Meet ibn Qasi.

He’s a Portuguese Sufi saint who lied a lot, saying things “I went to and from Mecca in one night!” and formed a small, vaguely religious militia to reclaim territory occupied by the Almoravids. He denounced a fairly cushy lifestyle after having a spiritual crisis, and spent the next 10 years as a self-proclaimed imam of the region. He wrote a mystical explication called “The Removal of the Sandals” that no one understands, and is quoted as saying, “There are two dawns, the true dawn and the false dawn.” Too bad his followers killed him when he tried to buddy up with the Christians.

He also likes long walks on the Atlantic coast, pepitas, and Two and a Half Men.

Research paper? BOOM. Done.